The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well” -- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

It is universal knowledge that children require unconditional love to thrive. But do we all feel capable of giving it? It is not possible to give something we don’t have inside. To love your child you have to start loving yourself first.

Now, this does not mean that you should give up parenting. Healing your ability to love takes daily attention and commitment, but it’s very do-able. So don’t give up yet. Here is what you can do

1. Forgive yourself for not being perfect

Perfection is the lowest standard one can have. Here, we are not going for perfection. Our intention is love. Making a mistake is human, we all make them as long as you can forgive yourself, you will find a way to repair those mistakes, which will eventually help you strengthen your relationship with yourself. Start by changing how you talk to yourself. Make sure you notice self-criticism and remind yourself that your goal isn’t perfection. The goal is to love yourself and others around you.

2. Unconditional love is a muscle, it needs a daily workout to be developed better.

Commit to treating yourself and others with compassion. Every time you feel something negative coming towards you, stop and take a moment to allow yourself to appreciate and be grateful. There are no exceptions to this. If you can choose compassion in every situation and conversation even with yourself, it will become a daily workout for your heart and you’d be enlightened by the end of the month.

3. Heal your heart, Heal your life /h2>

Breathe. The only way out is through. This means breathing your way through all the unfinished business. Once you get through the pain that you have been sweeping under the rug and avoiding, you won’t need to hand on to any kind of negativity. It may arise at some point but the difference would be that you will notice it and let go rather than acting on it. This isn’t about them, it is about accepting and consciously feeling your pain so you won’t have to hang onto anger as a defense mechanism.

4. Lighten up and show up

Have you made mistakes? Join the club! Who hasn’t?!

These aren’t mistakes if you use them to guide you towards a better way into the future. You won’t always have all the answers but you also don’t have to fix every situation. All you have to do is to stay present and choose love over fear.

You need to lovingly accept yourself, completely love all the tangled-up feelings, the rage, the grief, the sadness everything. They are all okay, it is a part of a rich and emotional life, and it will pass if you accept them and love yourself through it all.

So now the question is if you are committed to taking care of yourself and staying centered what are the benefits?

First, because life is short and you deserve it. And the second is so that you can be at peace with yourself and enjoy life to its fullest.  At the end of the day, only YOU can be responsible for how you feel.